Want a job, asshole?
It seems that jobs are so scarce these days (or at least, that’s what the perception is) that employers are already verbally-abusing their potential employees.
A job posting for a CSS/Frontend developer:
So we’re in a bit of a quandary. Our team is growing, and we need to find some people to hire that will be dedicated to maintaining our product’s frontend. This isn’t easy because most of ya’ll are a bunch of bozos, and I’m not so entirely enthusiastic to have to sift through the deluge of applications I’m about to receive.
Ok… so you think you’re good at CSS? Prove it. You have to show me that you can come into this company ready and willing to take charge of the presentation layer.
How to Apply for this Job
Do NOT just simply send me your meaningless resume and worthless portfolio. All of you bastards lie, so don’t waste my time.
Despite that, I still need to see a code sample to ensure you don’t write spagetti code and actually understand the concept of the cascading part of cascading style sheets. When you apply, I want you to provide me three live websites where you were in charge of the presentation layer, and tell me why you are proud of your accomplishments for each site.
You will also need to answer the following questions for me. If you answer satisfactorily, I’ll respond and ask for your phone number so I can call you for a phone interview. If you prove how much of an idiot you are, your email will be answered by a big fat empty void. If you answer with truly epic levels of idiocy, I might just reply to laugh at you, and print your email out and tape it to the wall.Onto the questions:
1) What’s more important: efficient CSS or efficient HTML? Why?
2) Name the craziest browser compatibility bug you encountered, and how you solved it.
3) This is a development environment. We’re currently a 15 person company, and we have all got to work collaboratively. No FTPing code. We use version control here. Do you know what that is? Then tell me your epiphany moment when you realized you’d never go back to the days of not using version control.
4) We have to support 10s, and soon 100s, then 1000s of websites on our platform. Clients will configure shit, move things here and there, turn on and off widgets, while we provide them many stock templates to choose from — and then allow them to customize it through a configuration interface. The primary customers will also demand a 100% custom job. We then have to maintain all this crap. Hiring a 100 person CSS team would be a massive waste of time and resources. How would you approach such a scaling problem as this? How do you ensure your CSS is flexible enough?
5) Tell me why I would be so impressed with you to make me want to hire you in an instant.About Us
For the sake of argument, lets say that miraculously we discover oh-so-brilliant you, and hire you. What will you be getting yourself into?
We’re a start up who just got a big fat wad of funding, and quickly quadrupling our size. We’re creating a web application to advance social learning, enabling institutions, professors and students to create ad-hoc online communities. Its a lot of fun.
We’re a start-up for christsake, so as you know (and you should know), the people we get to join our team is an absolutely vital part of the puzzle. We’re all a bunch of nice guys who like to go out to drinks together after a hard day’s work making the world a better place for students and teachers.
I’m assuming people didn’t respond to this too well, because here’s the same posting, edited hours later:
Answer me these questions three:
1) What’s more important: efficient CSS or efficient HTML? Why?
2) Name the craziest browser compatibility bug you encountered, and how you solved it.
3) How would you approach a flexible and sustainable CSS system?
If you’re desperate to be employed and the above still doesn’t put you off from applying, or you’re a closet masochist, or you want to provide these guys with creative answers to their questions, here’s the link.
